Friday, 13 May 2011
I'll Always Miss Him
When time runs out, we are left with our memories. If we are fortunate, we have the chance to say, and hear all the words of love we need so that our memories comfort rather than haunt us. No matter how old daughters may become, we never outgrow our need and desire for our daddies. We'll always miss them when they are gone. Always.
My father was a very generous man, kindhearted man and more than anything he taught me to enjoy life to its fullest every single day. He taught me that worrying is pointless, because only God knows what tomorrow will hold. His easy, laid-back demeanor is something for which i will always strive. I always know that if he is truly angry over something, its worth being angry over. All my life i heard of kids growing up with fathers who are unpredictable. They never knew if dad would come home angry or happy. They were almost afraid of theirs dads. I've never had to wonder or be afraid of my dad coming home. I always knew he'd walk in the door thrilled to see me, my brothers and my mom. I knew that no matter what happened at work that day, he left it at work. Home time was family time.
Losing a father at an early age can have a powerful impact on a daughter.My husband says people have guardian angels, and my father's my guardian angel. Every time something important happens, I still think about him.
In 2002, when my son was born, I wished he were there. My father had very distinguished-type cheeks on his face, and when I first saw my son he had his cheekbones. Instantly I missed him. Since that day I see my dads come-back in form of my son.
I learned this one thing is that the value of striving to live our lives in a way that reflects as much as possible what truly matters to us, what we will most urgently want to address when we realize we are up against the very last oppurtunity to address it. Although I still carry an unfulfilled longing for my dad's presence and attention in my life, it has been sweetened by the gifts of his love that could be unwrapped only when he left. Will always miss him.