Monday 20 June 2011

Lose An Argument

    
      It's an exhilarating thing to be proven right. It is deeply satisfying to be vindicated. Such exhilaration and satisfaction are the reasons why people love to argue, why we hang on so long, why we must have the last word, and why we get red-faced and otherwise act like idiots over small matters.
     Sometimes, though, there's more important than being right. Sometimes the best thing is to be gracious, even humble. Maybe it's more valuable to let another do something the wrong way and learn from it. Or maybe the argument is really another argument altogether, one that neither person can articulate, and so both people have chosen some other point to tussle over. Or - who knows?- you may be the one in the wrong, and the sooner you admit it and act like a good sport, the better everyone will be.
     Did you ever play a tug of war when you were kid, and you suddenly just let go and watched your opponent fall in surprise? Why not end an argument by suddenly, "You know, you're probably right, and this isn't so important to me. I'd rather that we get along and that you feel satisfied with the outcome. So let's do whatever you want. How can I help you achieve what you're aiming for?"
     Such behavior can be refreshing change of pace. Try it, or some version of it.

12 comments:

  1. Just dropping by. I am a follower. Love the post. Donna

    http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com

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  2. I really appreciate this post on a Monday morning. When I returned to work post-baby, I was most shocked by how juvenile the bickering had become. At first I attributed it to the changes in me, but realized that there was a big problem with workplace civility that had exploded during my time away. Everyone was consumed with proving their opinion to be right. I refused to allow myself to jump on the bandwagon of negativity, and have found myself in a much better place than before I left. It was a conscious choice that I had to make in order to maintain sanity in what had become a daycare for grownups. Thanks for shedding light on this.

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  3. Right Fighters can be infuriating - but it feels so good to be right!

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  4. This is such a great post. Winning does feel great in an argument but sometimes winning is just not worth fighting over something. I really enjoyed this post!!

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  5. I agree, this is a great post! Thank you

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  6. Love the tone of your blog and the consistent uplifting messages!

    Have a grand week -
    DK

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  7. Sometimes winning isnt as good as making up afterwards :) Great blog! If you have time please check out mine. closeencounterswiththenightkind.blogspot.com

    Nikki

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  8. Hi,
    I've been following your blog for about a week. I really like it. I've forwarded it to my daughter. I see you keep blog links. Would you like to exchange links with me? http://www.diannechristner.net/apps/blogs/
    I don't usually try to promote, don't mean it that way. Just would love to do that. I'll be following you either way.
    Dianne

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  9. Thanks friends for dropping by n taking time to comment on my post. I believe that if u r right, u don't need to prove it. Bottom line. But this is the best way to judge yourself, whether u are right or wrong.

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  10. Following on from Bloggy Moms!

    Patricia @ http://lemondropsdreamtoo.blogspot.com/

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  11. Hey, your post made me think about how I always need to be right, and always feel right but just the other day, I lost an argument to my fiance. I realised he was right, and I felt more satisfied to know something new than when I convince people I'm right!!! Real eye opener!!!
    Esmeralda @ www.sciencesosexy.blogspot.com

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  12. I can't wait to read your review on the Tebow book! Feel free to visit me at bookclan.blogspot.com

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