Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Recognize When You're Fighting Reality
William went on to say that he knew not going to college was the worst decision he had ever made and that he was certain his son would never recover if he make the same mistake. I could see in this man's eyes that he believed what he was saying, that his pain was real, and that it was severe.
That fact of the matter was that William's son wasn't going to college. It was obvious that nothing this father could do or say was changing that fact. The problem was that William was fighting against certainty.
Learning to recognize when we are arguing with, or struggling against, reality may be one of the smallest shifts you can make in your attitude. But it may also yield one of the most significant insights. Very simply, recognizing when you are fighting reality spells the difference between guaranteed misery and a life filled with peace and contentment.
Think about what happens whenever any of us argue with reality, when we resist what is. We might dwell on how much we hate the fact that the new neighbor has moved in down the street, or that the liberals or the conservatives are in charge of Congress (as the case may be). The problem is that the neighbor has moved down the street, and the liberals or conservatives are in charge, just as William's son has decided not to attend college. In any of these cases, it's eye-opening to ask the question: how is resisting concrete reality going to help? Or put it even more bluntly, is there any chance whatsoever that fighting reality is going to make you feel better? The answer is- and will always be- No.
You can hate the truth, and you can talk about it and resist it until you're blue in the face. You can complain and look for sympathy, stomp your feet, feel like a victim, and spend the rest of the your life feeling sad, depressed, angry, and resentful. But none of this is going to change anything.
Being aware of the difference between what we can control and what we can't is critical for day-to-day happiness. Once we understand what we want to do, we can make the most important decisions about what we will do. Instead of fighting with his son, for instance, William could have simply shared his concerns and worked with him to ensure that the decision to skip college did not damage his future.
It's a subtle shift in your thinking to be able to recognize when you're fighting reality, and the fact is that most of us do it a great deal of the time. But if you can make that slight change in your thinking, you will save yourself a great deal of agony and empower yourself and your decision like never before.
My second ebook "MAKE IT HAPPEN" soon to be published at Amazon Kindle, in EPUB format and Paperback format. Working on the last couple of chapters and is entirely different from "MY LIBRARY OF THOUGHTS" .....Happy Reading n Have a blessed day :)