Friday, 10 February 2017

All I Remember

When my mother spoke to me, she always began the conversation with "Have I told you yet today how much I love you?" The expression of love was reciprocated and, in her later years, as her life began to visibly ebb, we grew even closer.... if that were possible.

At 40 she was ready to die, and I was ready to let her go so that her suffering would end. We laughed and cried and held hands and told each other of our love and agreed that it was time. I said, "Mom, after you've gone I want a sign from you that you're fine." She laughed at the absurdity of that; Mom didn't believe in reincarnation. I wasn't positive I did either, but I had had many experiences that convinced me I could get some signal "from the other side."

 My mother and I were so deeply connected I felt her pain in me at the moment she died. Later I mourned for months n years in the sterile wisdom, had not let me hold her hand as she had slipped away. Day after day I prayed to hear from her, but nothing happened. Night after night I asked for a dream before I fell asleep. And yet four long months passed and I heard and felt nothing but grief at her loss.

One day, when I returned home from work tired and exhausted, to my surprise I saw that my entire house was neat and clean. Cooking,cleaning and Laundry was all done. I was wondering and plus I was shocked and scared as to who came into my house, who did this ? Many questions flashed through my brain. The answer was standing on stairs. My Mom, she came down the stairs, had lunch with me, rolling her hand on my head, making sure I finished everything on a plate. I kept eating, sobbing like a kid and asked her if she can stay with me forever. Of course not cuz she cleaned and cooked but ...

She took a promise from me that I wont tell anyone that she comes to see me everyday, have lunch with me and helps me with my house chores. I promised I won't. I said, "Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry that you had to suffer with that horrible disease." She tipped her head slightly to one side, as though to acknowledge what I had said about her suffering. Then she smiled—a beautiful smile—and said very distinctly, "But all I remember is love." And she disappeared. It was a DREAM. I knew in my bones that the love we give and receive is all that matters and all that is remembered. Suffering disappears - love remains.

Her words are the most important I have ever heard, and that moment is forever engraved on my heart.

I have not yet seen or heard from my father, but I have no doubts that someday, when I least expect it, he will appear and say, "Have I told you yet today that I love you?"

Tuesday, 31 January 2017


What you know for sure
-is your enemy-
Than what you do not know 

Happy Reading 

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Morning Dream - Haiku

The first dream of the morning
I kept it a secret
And smiled to myself  


Friday, 19 August 2016

Tuesday, 16 August 2016


Reveals the truth
The best companion
My mirror on the wall 


Waiting patiently,
For the rain to stop.
Only then, I'll see a beautiful rainbow  


Healthy Mom , Radiant Mom

I have thought of lifestyle as a choice. Living in my body has been a journey for me, and during my teens, I struggled at times. I did not truly understand and treat my body as house for my spirit; this practice has only come with maturity. As women, and specially as young mothers, it is important to listen to the wisdom of our bodies and do the things that promote holistic physical health and wellness. This will allow us to be the best moms we can ever be, in harmony with our bodies.

I encourage you to check in with yourself and be honest about how you are feeling, how you have been treating yourself lately, taking a note of your basic self-care practices. Have you bwen getting enuf sleep? Eating properly? Getting enuf exercise? Drinking enuf water? Annual physicals, including blood work, pap smears, mammograms and monthly breast self exams are important to schedule even if you are feeling well. 

It's so easy to take for granted that our bodies just work for us. But we mistake this, our health is in our own hands and not in doctors hand. It's our body, don't let anybody treat it. Take a mini-Vacation everyday. May be this is the reason i've never visited a doctor as much, except my two overwhelming deliveries and those emotional prenatal visits :) Touchwood. 

Taking care of yourself and your health is a lifetime commitment. While your kids may not act as if they see what you are doing, I promise you, they are absorbing your example. Someday you will see that they will model much of what you've taught them by how you live your life. Choosing a healthy lifestyle takes discipline and personal study. Having experienced the miracle of growing two babies in my womb and watching them grow to be the most amazing teens and feeling the most healthy I'd ever been, I want to feel just as good as I enter my pre-teen. I want to have energy to play with my grandchildren, and to embrace this happy stage in my life's journey and maintain my inner radiance .... No matter what my age says I am :)

Have a Happy, Long and Healthy Life's Moms !!!