Tuesday, 31 May 2011

How to Know When You've Walked the Extra Mile

       In life, most of us walk the first mile. We'll do what's required. It's expected. If you want to keep your job, stay married, and have friends, you have to walk the first mile. It's the minimum requirement. The extra mile, on the other hand, is the one nobody sees coming. It's a surprise.
     Now, before you think that what I'm saying is only accomplished on a grand scale, let me make this clear. We have the opportunity to walk the extra mile in a big ways and little ways every day of our lives.
     Take, for example, an organization like Four Seasons Hotel. If you ask any employee where to find a restroom, they won't point you down the hallway and tell you to turn right. No matter what they are doing, they'll stop, say, "Right this way," and personally escort you to the restroom. Does a hotel have to do this for their patrons? Of course not. But if they want a reputation of exceeding expectations, they do. They will walk the extra mile, quite literally, again and again.
     It's not a natural impulse to walk more than the first mile. Our first impulse is to say, "I've done what's required, and that's that." We check the task off our list and move on without a second thought, doing just enuf to show we're doing our job or that we are a good person.
     But mastering this impulse has the power to revolutionize your relationships, your career, and your life. Three seconds can be all that stands between the requirements and doing the extraordinary. After all, people who do whatever it takes rarely settle for satisfactory. They're mostly focused on unimaginable. 
     But one thing is for sure, that Extra Mile is Never Found on the Path of Least Resistance. I'll turn back on this statement, tomorrow. Coz I myself have to think on this, like how am I going to frame this by giving the best example I can . Stay tuned. Good Night :)

Monday, 30 May 2011

There's No Substitute For Hard Work

 "The best prize life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." Theodore Roosevelt.

     Motivation is fantastic and goals are great, but nothing happens until hard work is added. If something is worth achieving, it's worth an all-out effort. The good things in life come to us the result of time, energy, sacrifice, and even the risk of failure. So success requires a certain amount of toughness. It comes to people who aren't afraid of a challenge and some good, old-fashioned hard work. If we want our dreams to come true, it has to be a part of the formula.
     But the thing about hard work is that it does more than make our dreams come true. It even has other rewards and benefits.

1. Hard work helps us to realize our potential.
2. Hard work helps us face up to life.
3. Hard work makes us feel good.
4. Hard work builds character.
5. Hard work earns the respect of others.
6. Hard work earns self-respect.
7. Hard work adds meaning.
8. Hard work becomes habit.
9. Hard work gets the best results.
10. Hard work is healthy.

     The killing of Osama bin Laden is the culmination of years of HARD WORK by military, intelligence, law enforcement, and diplomatic professionals -- thousands upon thousands of hours of arduous physical and mental labor. It is not their only achievement, of course, but in symbolic terms, it is surely one of the most satisfying. 

Friday, 27 May 2011


     Hi , Friends, A very Good Morning to all of you. May you all have a very blessed day n a gr8 weekend ahead. ..:)
     Today lemme tell you about what's happening in my son's school. My son is eight-and-a-half year old. He goes to IB World school, (International Baccalaureate) and is in Grade 3/4.(Split class). Right now they are working on Inquiry Fair Project. (Science Project). Two months ago, the school declared about this Fair, to be held on June 1st 2011. Children's were given the Outline. They had to choose their own topic.
     Now here I come in the picture with him, in the selection of the topic. After a lot of researches, discussions n debating, my son picked "Nuclear Power Plant." I was very proud of his selection, though knowing that's its a very vast subject and there is a limited time given. When he goes to school, it was my job to collect all the data, cut short things n materials , and keep it ready for him when he is back from school. Since that day till today, we make sure we sit for 2 hours working on this project. Our team work has come to end and the big day is just around the corner. The things he prepared is as such: 

1. What is Nuclear Power Plant? (about 10 mins speaking on this)
2. Kinds of energy. ( 15 mins)
3. Use of NPP.
4. How it works? with diagram, model making, illustration n some images n videos on laptop.
5. Advantages of NPP.
6. Disadvantages of NPP
7. Giving examples of Chernobyl Power Plant and the recent Fukushima Plant. Explaining a little bit of both.
8. Conclusion/Summary on NPP.
     I hope all this information is enuf. My reading habit and being regular at my local library has helped us a lot for assembling the material for this project.
     My son's confidence level on this subject is a big advantage for him. Let's hope for the best and may the best student win.   

Thursday, 26 May 2011


     "We are not human beings having spiritual experience....we are spiritual beings having human experience."
     I once read a story in which a man said that he had become spiritual when his father died. Up until the time in his life, he had been able to deal with everything that had happened to him as a person. But for some reason, handling his father's death had been beyond him. He couldn't seem to deal with the loss, the grief, and the overwhelming feeling that he would never be okay again. After a while he realized that since he couldn't deal with it, the only way he would be able to go on was to draw on what was beyond him: spirituality.
     Spirituality is what is beyond the individual personality. It goes by many different names and can be accessed in many different ways. Some call it the soul, some God, some Allah, some Jehovah, some the higher self, some the universe, some nature, but all these refer to something that is beyond the little isolated ego we sometimes feel ourselves to be.
     I heard a story about a woman who grew up in Texas. When she was having trouble in her life, she would visit her grandmother, who lived nearby and always had a kind word and some wisdom to pass on. One day she was complaining to her grandmother about some situation and her grandmother just turned to her, smiled sadly, and said, "Sometimes, darlin', you've just got to rise above yourself in this life." I've remembered that wise advice many times as I have faced trouble in my life. Spirituality is another way of saying, "Rise above yourself."

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Be Aware

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
      BE AWARE of your thoughts, actions, and speech. Learn to see the long term consequences of everything you do.
     Most of society today functions in a semi-comatose-like state. We unconsciously follow a pattern of daily routine - so much so that most for people each day looks pretty much like the one before. Not thinking beyond the minimum daily requirements has become the norm!

     The way most people live their life reminds me of an experiment conducted by the great French naturalist, John Henry Fabre, on processionary caterpillars. These creatures robotically follow each other in procession, one after the other. Fabre placed some of these caterpillars in a circle. In the center of the circle Fabre placed pine needles, food of these caterpillars. They walked around the circle for 24 hrs, then 48 hrs, then 72 hrs, and then a week - without taking a break for rest or food. Finally, they dropped dead from starvation and exhaustion.
     Like these caterpillars, most people today mistake activity for accomplishment and end up exhausted and disappointed.
     Like anything worthwhile, learning to be aware takes practice and discipline. Take time to reflect daily, whether it's writing in a journal, going for a walk, or meditating; you'll only get the most out of life when you are aware of the awesome potential that lies within you, in your environment, and in every moment. Only then will you see that you're not a caterpillar - you're a butterfly !

Laughter, the best medicine

1. "What am I supposed to do?" a young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like."
     "Oh, that's easy," his pal replied. "All you have to do is find someone who's just like your mother."
     "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."

2. At an Italian wedding ceremony, the priest asked the bride, "Do you take Franco Giuseppe Antonio to be your husband?"
     Looking confused, she said, "Father, there's a mistake. I'm only marrying Frank."

3. "Why did you marry your husband?" asked the neighbourhood gossip. "You don't seem to have much in common."
     "It was old story of opposites attracting each other," explained the wife. "I was pregnant and he wasn't."

4. Attending wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
     "Because white is the colour of happiness," her mother explained.
     "And today is the happiest day of her life."
     The child thought about this for a moment, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

5. Let's get one thing straight," the newly-wed said to her husband. "I'm not cleaning up after you. I'm a career woman. That means I pay other people to do housework. Got it?"
     "How much?"
     "Eight dollars an hour. Take it or leave it."

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Remember What You Have To Offer

      One of the primary messages of my today's blog is to learn how to put yourself first. Be yourself, others have already taken. You have to take care of your needs before you can take of the needs of others. However, once you have a sense that your life is on track and your needs are being met, it's time to turn your attention to making a contribution to the larger community.
     After all, caring is intrinsic to being human. It's a reflex. You live, therefore you care. A woman drops her package, you help her to gather her belongings; a blind person stands in a crosswalk, you offer to guide him across the street; a coworker is locked out of her car, you offer to call a locksmith. It's natural part of being human. You live, therefore you help.
     When disasters strikes or any emergency occurs, you are quick to lend a hand. We rally together during a flood, earthquake or fire. We bring food to a friend when a loved one passes away. We baby-sit for a neighbor when her parent is rushed to the hospital. Yet we don't have to wait for times of crisis to share our compassion. We can - in fact we must - share our caring on a regular basis.
     You give to others for obvious moral reasons, but when you stop and think about it, service also enriches your life- you receive a gift in the giving. How you ever noticed how you can be in a bad mood, but when someone calls you and you extend yourself, your mood shifts immediately? At those times, you're reminded of who you really are and what you have to offer. It's just not the person on the receiving end that benefits; you do as well.
     Giving adds a sense of satisfaction to life that few other experiences can. When you reach out to others, you feel your interconnectedness with all of life. You feel a kinship, a sense of community - a taste of unity and belonging.
     But you can't simply give once and expect that it will have a lasting effect. You have to make service a habit - a natural part of your everyday life. When you begin to give of yourself, you'll find that the old saying, "Virtue is its own reward," really does ring true.

     I just want to share this with you all, how I do this. Once a month, every long weekend, or holidays, (whenever I can)  I go to this near by hospital with a big bouquet of multi-coloured roses and a GET-WELL-SOON cards. I give to each patient, say 50 roses n cards to any 50 patient. I give each one them with a smile on my face. I just can't express in words the happiness I get and the smile n blessing they give me in return. Sometimes I even take time to sit with them for 5 mins. Talk to them. I usually go around lunch time, so I can get a chance to feed couple of them.
     What do I get? Peace, happiness, self-satisfaction of serving others, peace and happiness in my family, in my home. No matter how happy you are, this happiness is different when you are serving others.
      I am recognizing my gifts and talents and using them to make a contribution.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Managing Your Finances

     "When you start really respecting yourself, those you love, and your money, the result is that you start having control over your money. What follows from that is control over your life." Suze Orman
     Finances are similar to time. Whether you are aware of it or unconscious about it, money goes. It goes somewhere, and the two ultimate questions are: Do you know where your money goes? Are you in control of how your money is spent? There are no "right" answers to these two questions. There are only choices and consequences.

     Maggie, the daughter of a friend of mine, had her first summer job as a lifeguard at a local summer camp. Over three months, she earned $1,600, yet at the end of the summer, she had nothing to show for her hard work. When her mother asked her where the money went, her answer was "I don't know." Upon thinking about the question, she enumerated, "I spent the money on coffee, drinks, food, movies, CDs. makeup, shoes, and some presents for friends." Her mother asked if it ever occurred to her to save some for the future, she replied, "No."
     After this conversation, it became clear to my friend that some discussion on money management was in order. Not that it was necessarily wrong for Maggie to spend her money on entertainment or fashion, but she might be establishing an unconscious life pattern of earning and spending that was not the most prudent in the long run. First n the foremost was the awareness of where the money was going.
     Maggie and her mother had a discussion about money as a resource. Her mother said that money was like energy, here are gone. If you didn't know how to conserve it, you could wake up one day and find out that you didn't have any left. She also said that money could be divided into three piles: a now pile, a later pile, and much, much later pile. The now pile was immediate, simple pleasures: coffee, movies, gas, and CDs. Later was for sometime in the future, three months to one year,, for larger purchases: rent, food, clothing, car expenses, trips, and the like. And the much, much later fund should go into savings for school and should be touched only in case of emergency. Maggie was quite interested to learn this concept. Previously she had considered money s a form of instant gratification. If you have it, you spend it. She had never really done any long-term planning; conserving and saving were new concepts.
     Some people are adult versions of Maggie. They are used to spending every cent they earn. If they earn more, they spend more, and so on. It is important to look at the big picture and choose what you want to achieve with your finances, both in the short term and in the long term. If you never learned it form your family, your teachers, or your role models, learning to save is a skill that must be developed. Saving and investing in the right vehicles also helps accomplish objectives that you might wish to fund in the future.
     Managing your finances creates peace of mind. Life costs money, and knowing how much you have and consciously choosing where and how to spend it puts you in the driver's seat. It allows you to live gracefully as opposed to clutched with fear, anxiety, or panic about insufficiency and survival. When you are ease, your life-and hence your ability to succeed further - just flows better.
     Successful people, by and large, have come to terms with their resources and have made conscious choices each area. So too must you assign values to your time, people, energy, and finances. The more aware you are, the more effective are your choices.
     Resources are limited; they are to be used as your discretion. If you are mindful of those variables that are within your control, you can make wise choices about the allocation and use of those resources. How well you manage them will determine how far your efforts take you.
     Ultimately, either you manage your resources or they manage you. Which shall it be?

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Blessed Are The Husband and Wife

     Marriage is beautiful and successful when you are willing to commit. Marriage must be the most important relationship in your life. If your marriage is good, you can overcome anything - adversity, economic hardship, and illness. On the other hand if the relationship is poor, there is not enuf power in the universe to fill awful void. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more important than your spouse. Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate and consider long after the wedding bells have stopped ringing. Blessed are the husband and wife who sit on the porch and swing, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation they ever had. Blessed are the husband and wife who've attained parenthood, for children are the heritage of the God. Blessed are the husband and wife who remember to thank God for their food before they partake of it. A good marriage holds so much joy, so many hopes, so many laughs, and an abundance of prayer. Build your marriage with love and thoughtfulness all the days of your life.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Discover Your Authentic Passion

      Authentic passion is the excitement you feel when you have discovered what you love. When you are passionately engaged, you are totally present. You are enlivened, focused. You lose sight of your surroundings, you forget yourself, your struggles, your day-to-day life. You're connected with something larger than yourself, something magical, something sacred.
     An authentic passion can be anything from playing a piano, taking figure skating lessons, creating a flower arrangement, trying a new gourmet recipe, reading, writing, to volunteering to read to children at your local library. The possibilities are endless. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you take your passion and make it happen.
     If you're going to create a life you love and live fully, you have to make passion your middle name. Authentic passion is time-released to consistently energize your life. It's a kind of passion that nourishes and sustains you - a passion that will feed your soul.
     Authentic passion is becoming a regular part of my life everyday. I've been writing since many years now, then thought of sharing, expanding, exploring. So started blogging, and I love it. I love being at BB (Books blog). I was amazed to see people writing their blog. Such interesting, educational, inspiring, informative pieces of work. BB has become my second library. Here I discovered my new passion for reading. Here I find new books, new upcoming authors, which I don't find in my library. BB inspires me write more n more. I'm glad I joined BB. And thank to all the wonderful people out there. So take your passion and make it happen.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

No Time for Relationships

     Are there relationships in your life that are suffering coz you just don't have enuf time? Do you find yourself so busy that you can't go out to lunch with friends, take vacations, play with your kids, or just sit and enjoy the day? The peace if life can sometimes get so out of control; that it feels like there's nothing we can do abt it. We run from activity to activity just to keep going. We microwave our foods because we don't have time to do anything else. We say things like, "I've been meaning to do that - I've just been too busy." And the things of eternal value suffer. If you feel that way u r not alone: more than half of the people around of the world feel their busy schedule hinders them from spending more time with God.
     Busyness never creates good memories, it never develops relationships, and it certainly never expresses love to our loved ones. Instead, it does its best to hijack those meaningful moments in our lives. Busyness doesn't have much to payoff except to keep our stuff coming in, cleaned up, organized, or protected. Coz when you think about it, a large part of busyness has to do with stuff. We want to keep all our stuff - house, cars, boats, toys, and activities - so we work hard to pay the bills. And we want to buy new stuff, so we work even harder. We want to take care of the stuff we already have, so we spend much of our days cleaning it, straightening it, and organizing it. We fill our schedules with all kinds of activities like sports, hobbies, and suddenly there's more stuff to do than there is time in the day. Of course, all that stuff isn't inherently bad - some of it is beneficial and builds lasting relationships. But when there's more stuff than time, something or someone suffers, and most often it isn't just us, but also those we love.
     Like it or not, stuff impacts our love lives.Some parents buy the lie that their kids need all the stuff they ask for, and for them long hours and hectic schedules means love. But the kids end up getting what they don't really need instead of what they do need, which is time with their parents. Some people say it's not quantity that matters but quality. But just ask a ten-year-old if she'd rather have a high quality square of fine chocolate imported from France or a big bag of Hershey's chocolate kisses.
     Quantity trumps quality every time. Love is built on time spent, not on how good the time is. Time spent sitting on the back porch, watching the birds fly by, or just walking around the neighborhood builds lasting, loving memories. But how many times does busyness get in the way of those moments?
     If life is too busy - if we wish we had more time, more love, more relationships - then it might be time to consider the pull of stuff in our lives.
     Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Obsessed over What Other People Think

      The more stuff we own, want, or guard, the more our thoughts become filled with the things of this world. And the more our thoughts are filled with the things of this world, the more concerned we become about what the world thinks. We enjoy our stuff, sure, but we also enjoy how it makes other people think about us. How many of our life decisions have been made based on how others will view us? In everything from wardrobe choices to our line of work, we are influenced by how we look to those around us.
     When we make decisions based not on morality or necessity but on our image, we become silent slaves to the people whose approval we are hoping to gain. To those of us stuck in this trap, there is a statement: "If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."
     Any number of things can send us reeling into approval-seeking mode. The places we live, the school we send our kids to, the store we shop at, the prayer hall we attend- all can be significantly influenced by what other people think of us. It's said that you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time. Well, it's true, and that's what makes obsessing over what other think of us such a futile and even dangerous proposition. But God has made it clear what pleases him : he is pleased by our devotion and obedience to him.
     A funny things happens when we take our focus off the stressful and impossible task of pleasing everyone and put it on to pleasing God. Suddenly other people's opinions no longer controls us, no longer affect our spirits or our emotions. We are set free. The chains that bound us to the world are loosed, and we are able to breathe again.     

Tribute to Stephen Gately

     Today, I don't want to write blog on philosophies, or inspirations, teaching life lessons. I want to write somthing different. But the problem is, "I can't be what I'm not!" and this reminds me of Steo's very popular song "No matter what", in which he say, "I can't deny what I believe, I can't be what I'm not".
     My today's blog is a tribute to Stephen Gately. His name was  Stephen Patrick David Gately (17 March 1976 – 10 October 2009). He was an Irish pop-singer, song writer, author, actor, dancer, musician.

     Here's some of my collection of  his videos. R.I.P.

He was even the aothor of the book named "Trees of season" which he could not finish it. I guess 10-12 pages were left which was then completed by Sir John Elton and David Furnish, as stated by Andrew Cowles, his husband. And was published in May 2010. His last tweet was, "Still busy-lots going on. Focussing on finishing my book next so may be quite here." 6th Oct 2009 @stephengatelyOS.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Strive for Understanding

     When you strive to understand, your focus is not on who is right or who is wrong, but on arriving at a heightened understanding where there is no winning and no losing. In a loving family everyone has the right to be understood. Communicating in this way is more positive and enjoyable way of relating.
     Misunderstandings and estrangement among families most often arise out of incomplete communication, hidden meanings, and unspoken assumptions. When you assume that you already know what the other person is going to say, or they assume that they already know what you mean without hearing you out, then understanding gets cut off prematurely. It's better to spend more time up front, to make sure you're on the same wavelength, than cutting off and having to go back over things later. Adopting a talk, listen n understand policy saves time n turmoil in the long run. That doesn't mean that you can't take a time out before you reach an understanding. It means that you are dedicated to see what life is like from your loved one's perspective. You can say, "I want to understand but I want to make this phone call first, then I'll be able to pay close attention."
     Seeing the glum look on your face, your husband asks, "What's wrong dear?" You answer, "Oh, nothing." If he jumps to the assumption that you don't want to talk, and you jump to the assumption that he doesn't care anyways, you're at a communication dead end.
     If your child runs through the house tracking mud, laughing, and slamming the doors and you yell, "Stop that!" he won't know exactly what you mean, and you'll put a glitch in your relationship. To understand each other you have to talk and listen for specifics. It may take more efforts up front, but but you will gain the pleasure of understanding, which, in turn, leads to greater compatibility and family unity.
     To arrive at understanding we have to be specific, ask for clarification, and don't assume. The understanding that develops between you and the rest of the family when we do these things, will be a source of comfort for all of us.
     The talk, listen n understand is the most effective way to build the trust between relationships n a sense of communication. Good relationships depend on us understanding one another. When family members don't feel understood, they'll feel like outsider and will look elsewhere for acceptance. But when they know that you're taking the time to try to understand, they'll have the security that comes with belonging. Hearing you mom or pop say, "I want to understand," is like the telephone; it keeps family plugged in and connected. And remember, jus because your related doesn't mean everything is open for discussion. Don't spread rumors about each other. If you talk about your sister behind her back, make sure it's something you'd be willing to say to her face.

(couldn't be this confident in my blogs, attitude is playing its role...:)    

Living with Love and Laughter Quiz

Long time ago, I once attended this seminar on "FAMILY" by a renowned speaker and the author, named Dennis Swanberg. By the end of the session, we were given this activity and I find it very interesting. Sharing this :

Answer Yes or No :

  1. My children and parents know what kind of music I like.
  2. I make sure to include something fun in every day.
  3. I make a special point of hanging out with  my family each week.
  4. I am silly at least ten minutes each day.
  5. When asked about my past. I tell the truth.
  6. When I m with my family the television is off more than it is on.
  7. I call my family by special love names.
  8. If I start a new project, I'll let myself quit after a short time if I'm sure I don't like it.
  9. I let my kids stay home from school once in a while even if they aren't sick.
10. I play hooky once a while from home.
11. My family view me as a fun person.
12. I read books for relaxation.
13. My family has seen me dance.
14. I do a physical activity each week.
15. My home life is relaxed.
16. I am able to see the positive side when things go wrong.
17. I cry in front of my family.
18. I know how to express anger without dumping on them.
19. I am able to negotiate with my children/parents when we disagree.
20. I accept feedback from my spouse, children and/or parents.
21. I laugh with my children daily.
22. I laugh with my partner daily.
23. I think my children have something important to teach me.
24. We eat dinner together at least three times a week and enjoy it.
25. I give my children unexpected treats or awards just coz.
26. I surprise my family with unexpected gifts.
27. We acknowledge small accomplishments.
28. I can keep messes in perspective.
29. Our family traditions add meaning and pleasure to our lives.
30. I make sure to say "I love You" to the important people in my life.
31. I have told my parents how much they mean to me.
32. I show respect for my elders.
33. I smile at babies.
34. I make a conscious effort to smile directly at my child each day.
35. I am able to listen to my child for one minute without offering advice, interrupting, or asking questions.
36. My child has heard me sing.
37. I have taught my child to whistle.
38. I take  lighthearted approach when solving problems.
39. I am able to show affection to family members.
40. I am interested in my spouse and show it.
41. I whistle while doing chores around the house.
42. When I've blown it, I apologize to my family members.
43. I spend time each day doing something I love.
44. I spend time with my children each day doing something we all enjoy.
45. I am able to say "no" without feeling guilty and without lecturing.
46. I am able to stay calm and laugh about small disruptions.
47. I am able to give strong directives without yelling.
48. My kids respect me more than they fear me.
49. I can laugh at my own mistakes.
50. When I'm impatient with my children I remind myself that they have not been on the earth very long.
51. I am eenthusiastic and cheerful.
52. I enjoy my family everyday.
53. My family knows that they are my top priority.
54. I am optimistic.
55. I avoid name-calling, criticism, and put-downs.
56. I put my focus on what my kids are doing right.
57. I put my focus on what I am doing right.
58. At the end of the day, I am able to put events in perspective and being fresh in the morning.
59. My family would describe me a positive and loving.
60. I feel like I am living with friends: people I like and trust.
61. Our home is comfortable and cozy.
62. We take downtime for loafing, hanging out, and puttering round.
63. The people in my family are cheerful and relaxed most of the time.
64. Our family is able to talk about what is troubling us.
65. We help our children with their homework.

Total number of YES answers : _______

Scoring : (The total number of yes answers.)

0-10 : Your family is much too serious. You're probably not enjoying yourself and you're having difficulty relaxing. Perhaps you didn't have much fun growing up. You can now change that pattern your focus on enjoying your family. You need to heal the wounds of your own childhood.

11-21 : Your family is tense, and so are you. You're worries, anxious and under pressure. This is affecting your family. You need to find healthy ways to relax and unwind. Focus on having fun. Make a daily practice of smiling to your children and spouse every day.

22-32 : Your family is moving in a good direction. You're beginning to enjoy your children. You understand that children respond well to kindness. Let yourself and your children be silly. Find ways to play together.

33-44 : Your family is important to you, and you are able to focus on what truly matters in life. Remember it's the quality of your relationship with your family that matters in the long run. Hang out together without the pressures of doing. Listen more.

45-55 : Your parenting style is upbeat, and your children are able to laugh at you. Keep it up by adding a little more laughter each day.

56-65 : You live in a nurturing family. Your parenting style is positive. Your children are developing good self-esteem. Keep up the good work and keep going.             

Monday, 16 May 2011

Am I the Manager or the Maid?

When I was a child, I didn't know anyone who wanted to be a maid when she grew up. My friends and I may have daydreamed about having a maid someday, but we certainly never considered being one.
     The reasons were obvious. We didn't want a job that was considered dull, repetitive, or one that demanded hard work for low pay.
     But since I've had children, I have found it much harder to avoid being a maid than I once thought. I can go around my house picking up puzzle pieces, clothes, toys, crayons, shoes, food, and books from off the floor, only to find myself an hour later picking up puzzle pieces, clothes, toys, crayons, shoes, food, and books. It seems that ordering me around is almost second nature to my children. "Find me my socks!" "Gimmie some milk!". And I really feel like a maid when everyone else in the family is lolling around enjoying life, while m the only one who cares how the house looks and the only one who does anything about it.
     But I don't want to be a maid now any more than I wanted to be when I was young. And I'm beginning to learn that I don't have to be one. With the change in the perspective, I can be a manager instead.
     Manager are respected coz their work involves responsibility, skill, and tact. Managers have vision- they can see how the routine tasks of today can help an organization reach tomorrow's goals. Managers jus don't decide that something has to be done; they plan how, when, and by whom it must be done. Managers make each person feel valued and important and encourage them to work together for the benefit of the whole.
     Becoming a manager from being a maid was not an overnight change. It has taken a while for me to convince myself that teaching, training, and involving children in housework as a manager is preferable to doing it alone like a maid. And of course, when I work by myself, I tend to do it faster, jobs are done better and no complaints. But as a manager, I think involving children in the household works, what is being taught goes far beyond the household tasks. We're learning about family cooperation, responsibilities, and pride in  job well done--- These are all the long-range benefits that are worth the short-term inconveniences.
     When I'm a manager I not only decide that the task will be done, but i also choose which hour of the day and which day of the week to do any of my responsibilities. And only my imagination limits how I will carry them out. For instance, when m done with my laundry, I'd have my children to fold clothes and help a young child practice matching skills using the family's sock.
     When m a manager, my foremost priority is the people in the family. It's true that meals need to be cooked, clothes need to be laundered, and the house has to be kept clean, but I have to remember that the reason I do all this is to make my home a pleasant environment for my family and I want my children to understand this concept too. They help with chores, not to please Mom or to be her slave, but because it benefits them and helps the home be a happier and more comfortable place for everyone. When people are my priority, I think of my job as one of the teaching, loving, and encouraging, rather than one of scrubbing, washing, and cooking.
     I have found that it's not my family who decides whether I'm going to be a manager or a maid. Rather, I decide which job I want, and my family responds accordingly. When I act like a maid they order me around like a maid. When I act like a manager, they respect me for my creativity I bring to my job.I'm convinced that even though my children enjoy the convenience of having a maid wait on them, they are much happier when I'm providing direction in my role as a manager. I,m much happier, too.
     When I chose to be a manager instead of a maid, I enjoy striving for long-term goals while working to meet short-term needs. It is very challenging to kids and mother. I also appreciate the teamwork, cooperation, and mutual respect and understanding I feel among family members. 
     I love my job, my position and my career as a stay-at-home mom. And last but not the least, a big THANK YOU to my husband, my  backbone,  my support system for always being there in all my challenges.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Count Your Blessings

"If you count all your assets, you always show a profit."

     One day, while I was going through tough times, I read a book that challenged me to stop feeling sorry for myself and instead, list blessings in my life. Since I was wallowing in my dark mood it seemed like an impossible task. But as soon as I began to randomly write down the positive things in my life, I was amazed how quickly a long list of blessings spilled onto the page. Soon my furrowed brow disappeared and I began to smile.
     Afterwards, when I read through the long list of blessings I realized ....I could easily add some more...Life is good.

 1.  Being alive
 2.  Being Healthy
 3.  Being a Canadian
 4.  Husband
 5.  Happily married for 11 years
 6.  Son, Parwaiz
 7.  Son, Riaz
 8.  Having enuf money
 9.  Beautiful home
10. Two younger brothers
11. Two sister-in-laws
12. One Nephew
13. In-laws
14. Business
15. IB school for my kids
16. Memories
17. Writing talent
18. Music
19. Friends
20. Cooking talent
21. Laptops
22. Reading habit
23. Laughter
24. My kitchen
25. Freedom
26. Every weekend with family
27. My coffee with newspaper
28. Sunrise and Sunset
29. Comfort
30. Inner peace
31. Beauty of nature
32. Precious moments
33. A bright future for kids
34. Free Time
35. Smiles from others
36. Forgiveness
37. Relationship with God
38. Special friends
39. Quality time with kids
40. My Sunday car
41. That I have 40 things to be grateful for and still continues.

      You start making yours, for sure you'll end with a smile. 

Friday, 13 May 2011

Every Day a Friday

 I love Fridays, and m not alone. Most people associate the last day of the workweek with feelings of relief, relaxation, and anticipation of good times to come in the weekend ahead. You know there has to be something special about  day when the feeling of celebration that accompanies its arrival is even commemorated in the name of a restaurant chain!
     And so I, too, celebrate Fridays. Today after dropping my son off at school I head to Starbucks, to pick up coffee treat of one type or another. Then instead of driving straight home I generally take a long route through the most scenic roads I can find, which usually includes my favourite corner of the local city park. On and on throughout the day I find myself happy and smiling for other reason than that the day's name starts with an "F" rather than a "M", "T". or "W".
     When I pick up my son again hours into the afternoon we high five physically and vocally, our chorus of "FRIDAY!" resonating at least as loud as our hand slap. Then we point out to each other the signs of beginning celebration in the street we drive through. We see footballs being passed in our park, hamburgers being thrown on the grills, people parked on front porch swings, and parties everywhere swinging into action. Sometimes it seems as if the whole world is celebrating Friday!
     The other day I emerged from the doctor's office happy over a positive prognosis in a health situation I was concerned about. My good mood was amplified by the signs of spring that were bursting all around me- flowers blossoming, birds singing, bright sunshine. I whispered the word "Cappuccino!" and headed for the speciality coffee bar that was conveniently located just around the corner.
     My mind rebelled. "What are you doing? It's Tuesday! Coffee treats are reserved for Fridays!" And suddenly I realized how ridiculous that line of thinking was! Why should Fridays be any more special than any other day of the week? Why waste six days while waiting to rejoice on the seventh? Minutes later I was walking back to my car with a big grin on my face and a raspberry mocha in my hand.
     A small victory, to be sure, but it's also an accurate example of how many of us live our lives. We're waiting for the conditions to be right before we allow ourselves to enjoy our time here on earth. May be when our toddlers are old enuf to be in school all day, We'll rejoice when the car or house is paid off or enjoy life when we are finally able to retire. And in that waiting we waste so much of the life that God has given us and the happiness that can be found in our todays. What if we moved a little of that "Friday feeling" into our rainy-day Mondays, our gloomy Tuesdays and our mid-week Wednesdays? Surely our lives would be much happier as a result.Enjoy every day as Friday. Everyday IS Friday!.
     It's interesting to note that T.G.I Friday's isn't open for business on just the last day of the workweek! No, they celebrate all week along and into the weekend.
     So should we.

I'll Always Miss Him

     When time runs out, we are left with our memories. If we are fortunate, we have the chance to say, and hear all the words of love we need so that our memories comfort rather than haunt us. No matter how old daughters may become, we never outgrow our need and desire for our daddies. We'll always miss them when they are gone. Always.
     My father was a very generous man, kindhearted man and more than anything he taught me to enjoy life to its fullest every single day. He taught me that worrying is pointless, because only God knows what tomorrow will hold. His easy, laid-back demeanor is something for which i will always strive. I always know that if he is truly angry over something, its worth being angry over. All my life i heard of kids growing up with fathers who are unpredictable. They never knew if dad would come home angry or happy. They were almost afraid of theirs dads. I've never had to wonder or be afraid of my dad coming home. I always knew he'd walk in the door thrilled to see me, my brothers and my mom. I knew that no matter what happened at work that day, he left it at work. Home time was family time.
     Losing a father at an early age can have a powerful impact on a daughter.My husband says people have guardian angels, and my father's my guardian angel. Every time something important happens, I still think about him.
     In 2002, when my son was born, I wished he were there. My father had very distinguished-type cheeks on his face, and when I first saw my son he had his cheekbones. Instantly I missed him. Since that day I see my dads come-back in form of my son.
     I learned this one thing is that the value of striving to live our lives in a way that reflects as much as possible what truly matters to us, what we will most urgently want to address when we realize we are up against the very last oppurtunity to address it. Although I still carry an unfulfilled longing for my dad's presence and attention in my life, it has been sweetened by the gifts of his love that could be unwrapped only when he left. Will always miss him.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Tell People How You Feel

 I believe one of the biggest reasons we cry at funerals is that we don't fully communicate to our loved ones how much we love them.
     Many people let conflicts with friends and family members to remain unresolved out of pride, often for years. Our ego can prevent us from forgiving, healing, and connecting with people who mean the most to us.
     If you have a conflict with the loved one, the simple act of telling that person the result you're hoping to achieve in the relationship is half the battle. I think this is the first step to removing the ego from the situation. When that happens, nothing will stand between you and a mutual understanding.
     Write down a list of the people who mean the most to you, including your family members, friends, associates at work, customers, spouses and anyone else you can think of. How many of these people know how you feel about them? Next, write down the cost of not communicating how you feel about these people. How do you think your relationship would be affected if you told them?
     Beside each name write down what you are committed to doing or saying to let these people know how much they mean to you.
     It's quite normal to feel a little awkward about this exercise. After all, we've been conditioned to hide our emotions. Don't let another day go by without letting the people who mean the most to you know how you feel !!!

Wednesday, 11 May 2011


"There is nothing to do but be."

     Living in the present brings the one thing most people spend their lives striving to achieve: peace. Relaxing into the present moment puts you in the mental and physical state of calm, and quite. If you are in the moment doing whatever you are doing, then there is no time to examine the gap between your expectation and the reality of how things are, or between where you are and where you think you should be. You are too busy being in the moment to analyze it and find fault with it.
     One of my favourite movie is BEING THERE, in which Peter Sellers plays a lovable idiot servant Chauncey Gardner, Simple-minded Chauncey lives his life only in the present moment, with absolutely no awareness of anything other than what he sees before him. When an odd twist of circumstances trnsports him from his beloved garden, which he spent most of his life tending, into a position advising presidents and powerful business moguls, Chauncey merely offers the wisdom he gleaned from tending the flowers and soil. Of course, the rest of the world interprets his simple statement as wise analogies, and he is hailed as one of the greatest minds of those times.
     Chauncey is peaceful in his simplicity. Life is simple and easy for this man, to whom past and future references have no meaning. He is focused completely on the present moments.
     Many of us race through our lives, always on our way somewhere. If you ask 10 drivers on their morning commute what they are doing, 9 of them most likely respond, "going to work." The 10th one-the one who responds, "driving my car" - is the one who has learned the lesson of present-moment peace. Chances are he does not arrive at work any later than the other nine who spent their commute focused on where they were headed as opposed to where they were . He probably even enjoyed the ride.
     Of course, this dosen't mean that we float through our life, completely detached from the past and blind to the future. Only that if we pause from time to time to be fully rooted in the moment and feel the peace that results, that's it .

Tuesday, 10 May 2011


     "Consciousness is nothing but awareness- the composite of all the things we pay attention to."     Deepak Chopra.

     There is an old joke about a religious man who had an unshakable faith in God. He prayed every day and felt that if anything ever happened, the Lord would be there to take care of him.
     One day it started to rain. The man's village flooded, and everyone hurried to escape. Some people came driving by his house in a car, urging him to come with them to safety.
     His reply was, "The Lord will save me."
     The rain continued to fall, until the water rose so high that the man needed to go up to the second floor of his house to stay dry. A boat came by, and the people on it urged him to climb aboard and go with them to safety.
     Again, he responded, "Thank you kindly, but the Lord will save me."
     The man soon needed to go up on the roof in order to avoid the rapidly rising water. A helicopter flew by and the pilot shouted down, "I'll toss you a line and we'll hoist you up."
     For the third time, the man refused. "Bless you," he said to the pilot, "but the Lord will save me. Any minute, you'll see, the Lord will do something and I will be saved."
     Within minutes the level rose, washing the man out to sea, where he drowned. He went to heaven, and when the Lord was reviewing the new arrivals, he was surprised to see the religious man.
    "You're not supposed to be here!" said the Lord, "It's not your time. What are you doing here?"
     The man said to the Lord, "I believed in you. I believed that You would save me. I waited and waited, and you never came. What happened?"
     The Lord replied, "I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want?"
          The point is what we need to listen closely to hear our messages, as they do not always sound or look the way we think they will. You need to be tuned in to pick up their frequency, or else you might miss some important clues being generated from your spiritual center.

Monday, 9 May 2011

What Do You Do All Day?

     "What do you do all day?" a single friend of mine asked me recently. "Do you really do anything at home?"
     I stared at her blankly for a moment. I do so much at home, I had absolutely no idea where to begin. Apparently assuming that my temporary silence meant that I had nothing to say, my friend continued, "Don't you feel that our mind is too good to be at home?"
     "Too good to be at home?" I wondered. On the contrary, I thought my mind was too good NOT to be at home.From the outside a mother's life looks very different than it feels from inside. That is why most of the studies about what mothers actually do with their time all day are almost always inaccurate.From outside, our lives may well appear to be fragmented and frustrating. And throughout a typical day, we are called upon to change directions as often as a squirrel trying to cross an interstate highway. From the inside, many mothers see themselves regularly searching the depths of their brains and the perimeters of their educations, looking for answer they are not even sure are there.
     How could I explain to a causal observer, for instance, what was really going on while I watched my son run down the steep hill and run exultantly back to the top? How can I recapture just what it was like watching him slowly overcome his initial fear? How long would another person sit and listen my experience with my son.I just told her "You had to be there."
     I am at home to help influence and shape the lives of my children, in a way that I hope will create the greatest happiness for them and for the people around them. What I do with my days, towards this end, is to teach hundreds of ten-second lessons which explore every area of human knowledge and experience. At home I just don't use my education; I run out of it, and have to hustle off to the library for more. I know this for a fact. My children certainly benefit from it. But again, how do I explain this to her?
     It is easy to see a mother teaching her child his ABC'S, or working with him on how to tie a shoelace. Bu how about teaching them what we do? Children who plays in the general vicinity of their mothers are picking up lessons from her. How does mommy treat other people? What makes her curious or excited? What if mommy wants to learn something, where does she go? What kind of music does mommy like? Does it make her happy or sad? How does mommy talk? What language does she use? Why does mommy likes books so much-is there something really good inside the books?
     As mothers at home, we are "interacting" with our children, in one form or other, 24/7. Often we do not realize how much we are interacting or how much of a real effect our presence has on our children until we see them begin to imitate the behaviour in whose care we have left them.

     Today, like every Sunday I took my kids grocery store and we play game on our every ride to grocery store. We discussed what we saw on the drive, what it meant, where we were going, what we were doing that evening, by memorizing cars number plate, its number, its colour, the intersections name, traffic rules and when we reached the store, in the store we talked endlessly, what vitamins were in what food, reading food labels, how Cheerios is better than Fruit Loops, n mathematics when in line to pay and check out.
     Needless to say, there are many people who would have observed me with my children today and concluded that "she took them to the grocery shopping." They don't know that they were learning, how they were learning. And yet, believe me, it is not the thirty minutes of the intensive playtime or lesson time with Mommy that is going to shape our children's lives, so much as the day in and day out view from the front seat of the grocery cart.
     A Mother's Job is Making Memories when they are "home". We are stockpiling memories for them to use in the years ahead. We are filling the corners of their minds with sights and sounds and smells that will re-emerge just when they need to remember that somewhere they are loved, whether they falter or whether they flourish.

Friday, 6 May 2011

A Mother's Guiding Hand

      As parents, we always hope to develop character traits in our children that will enhance their success in life. When my eldest son Parwaiz, lost his front tooth at the age of six, I found the following note wrapped around his tiny tooth:

     "Der Tooth Fary, Pleze leve me your majik wand. I can help. I want to be a tooth fary too."    Parwaiz.

     Recognizing potential leadership skills, precious opportunity and the teachable moment, the "Tooth Fary" left the following note for little Parwaiz.:

     Dear Parwaiz,
                          I have worked hard to be a good Tooth Fairy and I love my job. You are too young for the job just now, so I cannot give you my wand. But there are some thing that you can start to do to prepare yourself for the job:
     1. Always do your best in every job that you do.
     2. Treat all people as you wish to be treated.
     3. Be kind and helpful to others.
     4. Always listenn carefully whenever people speak to you.
I will interview you one day when you are older and ready for this job.
                                                                                                        Good Luck, Parwaiz! The Tooth Fairy
     Parwaiz was thrilled at the response from the Tooth Fairy. He took the message to heart and carefully followed the instructions, always working to improve as he grew. His character, his strength and his leadership skills grew right along with him. And he is still continuing to follow the instructions.
     Last year , at Annual day function at school, he was asked by his teacher, "What influences had motivated you towards your success and your position at school this year?" He said, "Almighty, my parents, my teachers and my friends. And of course, the Tooth Fairy!"