Long time ago, I once attended this seminar on "FAMILY" by a renowned speaker and the author, named Dennis Swanberg. By the end of the session, we were given this activity and I find it very interesting. Sharing this :
Answer Yes or No :
1. My children and parents know what kind of music I like.
2. I make sure to include something fun in every day.
3. I make a special point of hanging out with my family each week.
4. I am silly at least ten minutes each day.
5. When asked about my past. I tell the truth.
6. When I m with my family the television is off more than it is on.
7. I call my family by special love names.
8. If I start a new project, I'll let myself quit after a short time if I'm sure I don't like it.
9. I let my kids stay home from school once in a while even if they aren't sick.
10. I play hooky once a while from home.
11. My family view me as a fun person.
12. I read books for relaxation.
13. My family has seen me dance.
14. I do a physical activity each week.
15. My home life is relaxed.
16. I am able to see the positive side when things go wrong.
17. I cry in front of my family.
18. I know how to express anger without dumping on them.
19. I am able to negotiate with my children/parents when we disagree.
20. I accept feedback from my spouse, children and/or parents.
21. I laugh with my children daily.
22. I laugh with my partner daily.
23. I think my children have something important to teach me.
24. We eat dinner together at least three times a week and enjoy it.
25. I give my children unexpected treats or awards just coz.
26. I surprise my family with unexpected gifts.
27. We acknowledge small accomplishments.
28. I can keep messes in perspective.
29. Our family traditions add meaning and pleasure to our lives.
30. I make sure to say "I love You" to the important people in my life.
31. I have told my parents how much they mean to me.
32. I show respect for my elders.
33. I smile at babies.
34. I make a conscious effort to smile directly at my child each day.
35. I am able to listen to my child for one minute without offering advice, interrupting, or asking questions.
36. My child has heard me sing.
37. I have taught my child to whistle.
38. I take lighthearted approach when solving problems.
39. I am able to show affection to family members.
40. I am interested in my spouse and show it.
41. I whistle while doing chores around the house.
42. When I've blown it, I apologize to my family members.
43. I spend time each day doing something I love.
44. I spend time with my children each day doing something we all enjoy.
45. I am able to say "no" without feeling guilty and without lecturing.
46. I am able to stay calm and laugh about small disruptions.
47. I am able to give strong directives without yelling.
48. My kids respect me more than they fear me.
49. I can laugh at my own mistakes.
50. When I'm impatient with my children I remind myself that they have not been on the earth very long.
51. I am eenthusiastic and cheerful.
52. I enjoy my family everyday.
53. My family knows that they are my top priority.
54. I am optimistic.
55. I avoid name-calling, criticism, and put-downs.
56. I put my focus on what my kids are doing right.
57. I put my focus on what I am doing right.
58. At the end of the day, I am able to put events in perspective and being fresh in the morning.
59. My family would describe me a positive and loving.
60. I feel like I am living with friends: people I like and trust.
61. Our home is comfortable and cozy.
62. We take downtime for loafing, hanging out, and puttering round.
63. The people in my family are cheerful and relaxed most of the time.
64. Our family is able to talk about what is troubling us.
65. We help our children with their homework.
Total number of YES answers : _______
Scoring : (The total number of yes answers.)
0-10 : Your family is much too serious. You're probably not enjoying yourself and you're having difficulty relaxing. Perhaps you didn't have much fun growing up. You can now change that pattern your focus on enjoying your family. You need to heal the wounds of your own childhood.
11-21 : Your family is tense, and so are you. You're worries, anxious and under pressure. This is affecting your family. You need to find healthy ways to relax and unwind. Focus on having fun. Make a daily practice of smiling to your children and spouse every day.
22-32 : Your family is moving in a good direction. You're beginning to enjoy your children. You understand that children respond well to kindness. Let yourself and your children be silly. Find ways to play together.
33-44 : Your family is important to you, and you are able to focus on what truly matters in life. Remember it's the quality of your relationship with your family that matters in the long run. Hang out together without the pressures of doing. Listen more.
45-55 : Your parenting style is upbeat, and your children are able to laugh at you. Keep it up by adding a little more laughter each day.
56-65 : You live in a nurturing family. Your parenting style is positive. Your children are developing good self-esteem. Keep up the good work and keep going.