Saturday, 10 December 2011
Admittedly, this has been an easy one for me coz my in-laws are extraordinary people. And I must say my husband is equally lucky cuz my parents were also special. But its his bad luck that he didn't see his father in-law and didn't get much time to spend with his mother in-law. However, for many people, in-laws present quite a challenge, to say the least. And even if you like your in-laws, you do have to make certain sacrifices simply because of the nature of marriage. You will, for example, have to make trade offs as to where u spend holidays. You will also have to deal with the almost unavoidable problems of conflicting backgrounds and upbringing different religious philosophies, differing views on parenting, discipline, spending, saving, the relative importance of spending time with family, and so forth.Yet, despite the probable differences among you, I believe that most in-law relationships have the potential to be loving and filled with mutual respect.
The trick to making the most of ur relationship with ur in-laws is to stay focused on gratitude. While their almost certainly will be differences you will have to deal with, gratitude will enable you to appreciate, rather than struggle against, those differences.
Its easy to forget, yet you love your spouse, you owe ur in-laws an enormous debt of gratitude ! If not for their bringing your spouse into the world, you'd be with someone else, or alone. In most instances, it took ur in-laws (or one of them) to raise your spouse. So, regardless of what you may think,, they played a significant role in your spouses upbringing.
Before you sarcastically think some think like "that explains why my spouse has certain problems," keep in mind that the opposite is equally true. If you blame ur in-laws for any issues your spouse struggles with, its only fair to give them credit for his or her strengths as well. In addition, if you have children, their genes their physical makeup come, in part, from your in-laws. With their contribution, your children would not be the people they are. If you think your kids are cute, and who doesn't think so, some of that cuteness, whether you want to believe it or not, comes from your in-laws.
Believe me, m not a bury-your-head-in-the-sand-and-pretend-that-everything-is-perfect kind of person. I realise that all in-laws have certain difficult qualities, just as I will too my future daughter-in-law, some day down the road (way down the road). However, what choice do u have? You can continue to complain abt your in-laws, make mean spirited jokes about how difficult it is to have them, and wish that they were different or you can begin to focus less on their irritating quirks and characteristics and instead focus on that which you have to be grateful for. I believe the decision is an easy one. Stay focused on gratitude and my guess is that you will be able to improve your existing relationship in a significant way.
I share this cute corner with my mom-in-law. This filmy gossip. I get her the weekly newspapers. She reads them n shares it with me when we meet and I do the same. And trust me, I just read it for her. She even saves some cooking tips, health tips paper cutting for me and we share n discuss.
Every relation has this sweet corners, find them, maintain them, feed them, give space, make space. These corners helps save relations when things go wrong, when things r not in control. It helps to let go things. Understanding is a must in all relation......Enjoy your weekend with your in-laws...:)