Admittedly, this has been an easy one for me coz my in-laws are extraordinary people. And I must say my husband is equally lucky cuz my parents were also special. But its his bad luck that he didn't see his father in-law and didn't get much time to spend with his mother in-law. However, for many people, in-laws present quite a challenge, to say the least. And even if you like your in-laws, you do have to make certain sacrifices simply because of the nature of marriage. You will, for example, have to make trade offs as to where u spend holidays. You will also have to deal with the almost unavoidable problems of conflicting backgrounds and upbringing different religious philosophies, differing views on parenting, discipline, spending, saving, the relative importance of spending time with family, and so forth.Yet, despite the probable differences among you, I believe that most in-law relationships have the potential to be loving and filled with mutual respect.
The trick to making the most of ur relationship with ur in-laws is to stay focused on gratitude. While their almost certainly will be differences you will have to deal with, gratitude will enable you to appreciate, rather than struggle against, those differences.
Its easy to forget, yet you love your spouse, you owe ur in-laws an enormous debt of gratitude ! If not for their bringing your spouse into the world, you'd be with someone else, or alone. In most instances, it took ur in-laws (or one of them) to raise your spouse. So, regardless of what you may think,, they played a significant role in your spouses upbringing.
Before you sarcastically think some think like "that explains why my spouse has certain problems," keep in mind that the opposite is equally true. If you blame ur in-laws for any issues your spouse struggles with, its only fair to give them credit for his or her strengths as well. In addition, if you have children, their genes their physical makeup come, in part, from your in-laws. With their contribution, your children would not be the people they are. If you think your kids are cute, and who doesn't think so, some of that cuteness, whether you want to believe it or not, comes from your in-laws.
Believe me, m not a bury-your-head-in-the-sand-and-pretend-that-everything-is-perfect kind of person. I realise that all in-laws have certain difficult qualities, just as I will too my future daughter-in-law, some day down the road (way down the road). However, what choice do u have? You can continue to complain abt your in-laws, make mean spirited jokes about how difficult it is to have them, and wish that they were different or you can begin to focus less on their irritating quirks and characteristics and instead focus on that which you have to be grateful for. I believe the decision is an easy one. Stay focused on gratitude and my guess is that you will be able to improve your existing relationship in a significant way.
I share this cute corner with my mom-in-law. This filmy gossip. I get her the weekly newspapers. She reads them n shares it with me when we meet and I do the same. And trust me, I just read it for her. She even saves some cooking tips, health tips paper cutting for me and we share n discuss.
Every relation has this sweet corners, find them, maintain them, feed them, give space, make space. These corners helps save relations when things go wrong, when things r not in control. It helps to let go things. Understanding is a must in all relation......Enjoy your weekend with your in-laws...:)
Monday ! Monday , What M I doing today ? Usually Monday to Friday are not that busy for me. Myself, my mind and my time is all mine and at Peace till 4:00 pm.. Kids go to school, I have my own stuff to do at my ease, so on n so forth. I get busy after 4:00 pm till 8:00 pm. That time is just for my kids.
Possibly the most influential relationship our children observe is the one between their parents. This is where they are most likely to learn how respect is expressed in daily living. No mater what we tell our children about how to behave, the way we act towards each other is the message they will actually receive.
It's been a day full of bickering between the 6 &7 year old kids, Andrew and Emily. Mom finally loses her patience and yells, "Stop fighting, I can't stand it anymore!"
Both kids look up at her in surprise and then Andrew replies, "But you and Daddy argue all the time. This isn't any different."
Mom is speechless. She's never thought of it this way before, but she knows Andrew is right.
Our children notice the way we speak to each other: our tone of voice, our attitudes, our unexpressed emotions. It's not simply a matter of whether we fight or argue. It's the way we resolve disagreements, how we communicate each other in clearing up minor misunderstandings, and how well we respond to each other's needs.
Even the smallest gestures of attractiveness and concern that passes between Mom and Dad are noticed by our children, becoming a mental model for how to treat loved ones. When they hear the expressions of polite interaction - "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome", - used in a habitual and natural way, and when thoughtful question such as "Can I get you something?" and "Can I help you with that?" are in the background of their everyday lives, they see the way people can help each other through life in both big moments and small.
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"
The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"
The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So..
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
