Time with Children

Sometimes 

the smallest 

thing 

take up 

the most room

in your heart. 

Mind In The Making

I read a lot of parenting books as well. To gain more knowledge on their development. We all know that when a child is born, a mother is born too. My huge family has always been there for me at any given time, but this is for my own learning. I wanted to do every little thing on my own self. My kids, their days, months, years, their growth, their brain development, and etc. These books have helped me a lot in my kids development. One such book is, "Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Ellen Galinksy."

What life skills do all children need to succeed in life? Ellen Galinksy has spent her life researching and understanding child development.  In this book, she pulls together this research showing why these skills are important and how you can help your children develop these abilities.

The first essential skill discussed is focus and self-control. She explains, “Take the words often used to describe the world: complicated, distracting. Or the words about time: 24x7, rushed, time starved, too much to do and not enough time to do it. To navigate this world, children need to focus, to determine what is important and to pay attention to this, amid many distractions. Focus is one of the essential skills we need to promote in our children.”

The other essential skills are

• Perspective taking
• Communication
• Making connections
• Critical thinking
• Taking on challenges
• Self-directed, engaged learning

She provides plenty of research and ideas for building these skills in children. Her suggestions allow you to have fun with your kids while growing their minds! Every mother should read this book once. Give it a go !!

Don't Interrupt !!

Do you ever find your kids interrupting you when you are having a conversation with someone else? Are you tired of telling them that they need to wait? 

I had the same problem. I solved my problem by teaching them  to put their hand on my hand when they wanted my attention and then to wait. 

When they would fall back into trying to verbally interrupt me, I'd remind them “That won’t work.” They soon learned that the only thing that did work was to put their hand on my hand and wait their turn. They were rewarded with my full attention when it was their turn.

This really worked for me. Now they know how to get my attention and m always there 24/7 to give mine, it's just they should learn and understand and put it into practise as to how to get attention without interrupting.

Doing as We Do, Not as We Say

    
     Possibly the most influential relationship our children observe is the one between their parents. This is where they are most likely to learn how respect is expressed in daily living. No mater what we tell our children about how to behave, the way we act towards each other is the message they will actually receive.
     It's been a day full of bickering between the 6 &7 year old kids, Andrew and Emily. Mom finally loses her patience and yells, "Stop fighting, I can't stand it anymore!"
     Both kids look up at her in surprise and then Andrew replies, "But you and Daddy argue all the time. This isn't any different."
     Mom is speechless. She's never thought of it this way before, but she knows Andrew is right.
     Our children notice the way we speak to each other: our tone of voice, our attitudes, our unexpressed emotions. It's not simply a matter of whether we fight or argue. It's the way we resolve disagreements, how we communicate each other in clearing up minor misunderstandings, and how well we respond to each other's needs.
     Even the smallest gestures of attractiveness and concern that passes  between Mom and Dad are noticed by our children, becoming a mental model for how to treat loved ones. When they hear the expressions of polite interaction - "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome", - used in a habitual and natural way, and when thoughtful question such as "Can I get you something?" and "Can I help you with that?" are in the background of their everyday lives, they see the way people can help each other through life in both big moments and small.

Children Are Complete Persons As-Is

In our culture , we generally treat children as less than whole. From outside the box it appears a rather egotistical attitude on the part of adults. We behave as if children need this , that , and a good dose of other things - from us , of course - b4 we can take them seriously as we take our friends , co-workers n other adults ."A child is not in training to be a person but is one already ." Seeing children as complete allows us to respect who they are , and we know that children who live with respect learn respect .In this way we feed their subconscious with messages of acceptance and love .

It's a good idea to share this thinking outside the box with the other adults who populate your child's life.Commnicate with your child's teacher , again in a nonadversarial manner .Use that time during parents teacher meet , send an e-mail , write a letter or make a phone call .Explain you want him on your team of influential adults in your child's life who , in making his academic success a top priority n treating your child in a different manner .

Mutual respect n understanding can transform a less-than-perfect relationship with your child .Once you accept him already complete , you will find that the time and energy you spend trying to coax, help or otherwise encourage him to bcome somthing different , you can now use in a more positive way , encouraging and supporting all that he already is .