Making Better Choices By Asking Better Questions .

It was a beautiful morning in Mississauga , when I stopped at near by Tim Hortons for a quick breakfast coz I had to reach my son's school for judging Science Fair .The place was jammed. Ididn't had much time , so I was happy to grab the one chair they had available .A few minutes after I sat down , a young man carrying a tray full of left-over n foam glasses hurried passed em on his way to the kitchen, but noticing me out of the corner of his eye , stopped , came back and said , "Madam , have you been helped ?"

               "No,I haven't," I said , "but all I really want is a toasted begel with cream cheese and a large double-double and its for here and will take one orange juice to go."

                "I can get get you that , madam .There is a line up there ,so u jus be seated and I shall serve you .But madam we a running out of orange juice , will apple juice be fine ?" To which I said ,"Ah!! No thanks , with a smile on my face ." "Great I'll be back ."

                 Moments later he came with my breakfast and I thanked him .Suddenly there was a blur of activity off to my left , the wind of enthusiasm stirred behind me coz those people were celebrating the victory of their team who jus won a match .And then , over my right shoulder stretched the long arm of service delivering a 20 ounce bottle , frosty on the side n cold on the inside ----- u guessed it ----Orange Juice !!!
.
            "Wow! I said ."Thank you !"
            "You're welcome," he said with a smile and hurried off again .

 Then about minutes later , I asked him ,"Excuse me , I thought you didn't had orange juice."
               "That's right, mam , we don't."
               "Well, where did this come from?"                           
               "The grocery store around the corner,mam."
                "I was taken aback.
                "Who paid for it?"
                "I did , mam ; just a dollar.
                              "Come on , you've been awfully busy.How did you have time to go get it ?" He said , "I didn't , mam .I sent Manager!"

                                 I couldn't believe it .Was empowerment , attitude or what ? I'll bet we can think of thimes we would love to look at our boss and say , "Get me a orange juice!" What a great image. I could say wuld go great heights .But beyond that , his actions paint a marvelous picture.I had so many question behind the question. But as I was having my coffee , I was thinking , what was he thinking ? What was going in his mind ? What was the choice he made ?
                                  I was the breakfast rush .He was already busy, with plenty to do .But he noticed a customer who , though not in his section , looked as though I needed some attention , so he decided to do what he could to help.I don't know what was in his mind at that moment , of course , but faced with a similar situation , many people would have had thoughts like these :
    "Why do I have to everything around here ?"
    "Who's supposed to be covering this area , anyway?"
    "Why are we always short-staffed?"
    "When are the cutomers going to learn to read the menu?"

                                 It's understandable that someone would feel and think that way , especially when frustrated, but the truth is that these are lousy questions .They're negetive and they don't solve problems.Unfortunately , though they're often the first thoughts that come to mind.It's sad fact that when most of us re faced with a frustration or challenge of some kind , our first reaction tends to be negative and defensive .
                Instead , in the moment , he discliplined his houghts , made better choices and asked better questions.Whether he used the words or not, his actions clearly indicated accountable thinking such as "What can I do to help out?" nd "How can I provide value to you/" His choices made the difference.
               By now have judged it right that I was late to school 10 minutes , but never mind you always n eveywhere learn something .Good or bad , but its always good for you , for your decision making , for taking difficult steps in life , everywhere and anywhere .I don't say that whatever decisions we take HAVE to be right , there are some decisions you take , and you don't know whether they are right or wrong , you know it only after you get the results .

               So let's continue , As I left that day , I gave him a GOOD tip , as any one would have . And when I returned a couple of months later and asked for my favourite server, his name was Jacob Miller , the other server said , "I m sorry , madam , Jacob is no longer ...."

               My thoughts flew fast at time ."Oh no , you lost him?" to which she brightly responded , "Oh , no , mam , we didn't lose him , he was promoted to management ."

               My first thought was MANAGEMENT , what waste !" ( Go ahead n mile if you are a manager ...lol..!)

               But the truth is , I wasn't at all surprised that Jacob , with the way he thoughts , would be so quickly on his way towards his chosen goals.Everyone wins : customers, coworkers, the organizations, everyone.And for Jacob , beyond the tips and promotion , I can't help but think the greatest win of all is the way he must feel about himself at the end of a day of making better choices, asking better questions.
               I still go to Tim Hortons , meet him , He got introduced himself to my kids and I still ask him , "What did u tell or ask your manager on that day ?" He smiles .

                Its all about Making Right Choices and Asking Better Questions at the right time . 

Love for Books

Not many of us get through school , college and universities .All of different reasons . But reading is everywhere , any age , any time .If you are a mother , well , any profession for that maatter , but I would talk about mother coz , I am one so will tell you how books helps me in my every day to day life .There r things that I always want to know , I want to learn , I need help .I always refer n prefer books .For instance , "Save your brain ", "What a 3rd grader shoud know" , "Homework Hand book ", "Home schooling", "Your 3 year old", "Study smarter , not harder", ....and many more .These books have helped me a lot . No offence towards fiction books .


How well do you remember what you read? Think about a work of fiction you've read recently—what scenes, images or characters come to mind? Memories of reading can often be far more complex than memories of “real” events, since they combine “factual” memories—like your personal situation and social context at the time of reading—with the power of an aesthetic experience. So when you think of a book that had a profound impact on you, you often can't help but remember what you were doing and where you were when you first read it. Now think of a book that had no impact on you at all. Can you even remember one?

In order to make sense of these emotions, you need to think carefully about your reading habits. Ask yourself the following questions.


1. What book are you reading now ?


2. How do you decide what book your reading next ?


3. Do you always finish books, or do you give up on them? If you give up on them, how many pages does it usually take?

4. Do you remember the author of the book you read ?


5. Can you read in noisy places ?


6. Can you remember the name of the book that made you laugh or cry ?


                    Oh YES, I remember this book called BELOVED , I jus couldn't stop crying . Don't know if author was playing with the emotions or was it jus me.

              Like most people, I do most of my reading in bed at night. In the morning, if I don't have to get up right away, I'll spend at least half an hour reading in bed, which is, as most people seem to agree, the best place for intensive, immersive leisure reading. You can burrow down into the covers with your book or plump the pillows and sit up in your pajamas like a dainty invalid. You can stretch out, curl up, or snuggle under the quilt. If you feel guilty about staying in bed, or if it makes you antsy to look at the clock, you can lie on top of the covers and do some leg lifts while you read. You can make a nice pot of tea for the bedside table (it's even better if you can get somebody to make it for you). Of course, there are other places that are more commonly associated with reading—airport lounges, long flights, hospitals—but here we tend to read by necessity, as a way of passing the time, or to keep our mind off things. Lying supine in bed, everyone seems to agree, is the ideal place to read, the most conducive to immersion in the richness and complexity of another world.And the other alternative place is PUBLIC LIBRARY .......ENJOY READING .

"The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it. " ~James Bryce

Ukraine marks 25th anniversary of Chernobyl Disaster

Twenty-five years later, and yet again we are worried about a nuclear disaster. There will be plenty of stories out there discussing the 25th anniversary of the worlds worst nuclear accident, here is just couple of  'em.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/04/26/ukraine.chernobyl.anniversary/index.html?hpt=C1

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/ukraine/8473070/Ukraine-marks-25th-anniversary-of-Chernobyl-nuclear-disaster.html

Simplifying Your Life

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”Leonardo da Vinci

One of the most important things I have done to improve my life over the last few years is to focus on letting go of many things and to simplify.

This is by far my most in-depth product so far and will help you to practically simplify and improve the most important areas in life such as your productivity & effectiveness, your thinking, your social skills & relationships, your health, your money habits and more. Be on the lookout for more information about this in the next few days.

But for today I would like to share a couple of great ideas about simplifying that have been with us for a long time. These are a few of my own favorite thoughts about simplifying your life

Focus on what is most important for you. Let go of the rest.


“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”
Hans Hofmann

There are many things you can let go of. Both on the inside and the outside. I have for example let go of some busy work on the outside. I have greatly decreased the number of times I check email etc. each day and I have learned to use very short to-do lists with only 2-3 of the most important items instead of a dozen items or more.

On the inside I do my best to let go of trivial and petty stuff. I let go of negative stuff. I let go of trying to control the results of my actions. I let go of information and old self-images that don’t serve me anymore. I always remember – or remind myself via the white board on my wall – to keep things extremely simple.

By doing all this elimination on the inside and outside there is more room, time and energy for me to use for the most important things. And that makes life so much more interesting and fun.

Express yourself in a simple way.

“My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.”
Ernest Hemingway

One of the trickier things about social skills is to get your message across. One reason why people have difficulty with this is because they use more words than needed.

Now, sometimes that can be a good and enjoyable thing. Sometimes it’s just a way to feed your own ego and keep the spotlight on yourself for as long as possible. A lot of the time I think it can be useful to simplify and try to use fewer words.

Why? Well, it makes your message clearer and makes it more powerful emotionally because it’s focused. Keeping it shorter and more focused also makes it less likely that people will simply become bored with what you are saying.

A simpler life is one way to a happier life.


“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Confucius

Why do people make life more complicated than it is? Well, one answer may be old habits that you need to let go of and replace.

Another answer is that your life isn’t really that exciting. So you add drama and complications to make it more interesting and stimulating. That’s at least what I used to do in the past.

But instead of doing that you can take the more difficult path and actually get a life.

If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do then it’s very easy to get stuck in thought loops and go into a downward spiral. Simply by filling your life with more fun activities and people you become a lot more relaxed and have little time or patience for complications or drama from yourself or others.

So spend less time analyzing life and more time living and exploring it in whatever way you’d like. By doing so you are also often confronted with having to expand your comfort zones and perhaps face a fear. This leads to better self confidence and less fretting about if you can handle things that may come up.

So What Makes A Mother ?

When I was younger, I once asked my mother what the best part of her day was, and without second thoughts, her answer was - every second that you call me because you needed me. I found it absurd knowing the fact that almost every minute we would call her to fix things for us, even as simple as getting an extra blanket because we were too lazy to get it ourselves.Growing up watching my mom juggle too many things at the same time had me thinking of never wanting to become a mother someday.

Fortunately, the good heavens above twisted my fate and turned the tides and eventually had me traverse to the other side of maternal phobia. And these are some the wonderful things I have learned on my journey of being a mother.

I learned that the phrase "It's Okay, Mommy's here" works like magic; That there is only one pretty face and every mother has it; and that the cliché "Mothers Know Best' oftentimes mean "I told you so" or otherwise signify that you have get your mother's approval on everything even on your choice of women.

Because being a mother means giving life but not living it for your children, it means teaching them things but not learning it for them, letting them know what's right from wrong but not deciding it for them, it means giving them freedom but at the same time not be accountable for them.

Because being a mother is to support your children all the way even if they choose to take the road you don't want them to. Because being a mother is to always be there even if it hurts. Because the unfathomable fact is, you can never stop being a mother.

I know this because I had a very wonderful mom. And now that I am one, the best part of my day is the fact I am important, I am valued, I am needed and I can love my children with unconditional love all my life...And I will.

Writing Things Down

“When you write down your ideas you automatically focus your full attention on them. Few if any of us can write one thought and think another at the same time. Thus a pencil and paper make excellent concentration tools.”

One of the simplest but most powerful habits I have established in my life in the past few years is to write things down. Why is it so important?

1. Ideas don’t stay for long.
Fine or awesome ideas can pop up at the strangest times but they tend to not stay for long in your head. So you need to capture them fast or they are gone in the wind.

2. Written goals are very important.
This was my son's homework the other day .A written goal brings clarity and focus. It gives you a direction. And by rewriting your goals you not only reaffirm what your goals are.You may also find new insights that bring more clarity and focus to your goal and life.

3. Clearer thinking. You can’t hold that many thoughts in your head at once. If you want to solve a problem it can be helpful to write down your thoughts, facts and feelings about it. Then you don’t have to use your for mind for remembering, you can instead use it to think more clearly. Having it all written down gives you an overview and makes it easier to find new connections that can help you solve the problem.

4. Get to know yourself and your life better and improve long-term focus on what’s important. You can use a journal as a way to keep an overview of your thinking over a longer time span and to recognize both positives and negatives in your thinking and actions.
You may, for example, think of yourself as a healthy person but realize when you read through your journal that you have only been out running four times this month. Or perhaps you have an image of your life going pretty well but discover when reading through your notes for the last month that you are negative about your job or a relationship in almost every entry.

By writing things down you can help yourself to spot trouble and get yourself back on track and keep yourself there within a larger timeframe. Or your journal may tell you something that you haven’t really paid much attention to about yourself and/or about your life. And so this can bring clarity.

Though there are lots of reasons , but these are my main reason n it helps me a lot in my memory skills .Keeps my thoughts , mind and memory in shape .

Make a Commitment to Something Better

                                                                             
The mind is a very powerful "answer engine" .It will always find answer to questions we ask it .But you must be careful of which question to ask .If you constantly ask yourself "Why do I fail ?" or "What's wrong with me ?" your mind will come up with answers .

However , if you ask different questions , such as , "What will it take for me to succeed ?" or "I wonder how good can I really get ?"  your mind will also generate answers for you .

If you make a commitment to searching for success and making habits out of the things that work for you , you'll be amazed at how many answers ans solution will seem to just appear in front of you . This isn't the magic or power of positive thinking . It is based on the way your brain and attention -focusing mechanism work.

All day long we are bombarded with sensory , emotional , and intellectual stimuli. It is impossible for all of it to register at a concious level. Your mind will screen out 99% of what's out there. Your attitude , priorities, and focus will determine which 1% filters through to your awareness. Think about it .

For example , if you didin't care abt golf , if it never entered your thinking throughtout the day , you probably would not be aware of anything to do with golf . If, your friend dragged you out to play a round of golf one day and you got hooked on the game , you would think a whole new world had sprouted up in front of you . Golf was alwas there , its just that you didn't notice it coz it wasn't part of what you told your brain to pay attention to .

The same pattern works for the outcome of your life.If you are convinced you are a failure and the world is against you , your mind will find plenty of evidence to support you , even if it has to twist the interpretation of some input. On the other hand , if you are committed to succeeding and are convinced the answer is out there somewhere , your mind will focus on finding that solution......"The thing always happens that you really believe in ; and the belief in a thing makes it happen ."

Dedicated to my Mom

"Strength and honour were her clothing.". Many a times when I think of my mom , who is now resting in PEACE , I hear people say , " U look just like your mother " That makes me smile. Although it's nice to know that others see the physical resemblance, it is my hope that they can say the same about her inner beauty. It is her godly influence and inner strength that I admire so much. I wish I was more n more like her.  The legacy she left behind is greater than any inheritance. She has done as the scripture says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 1
     Now that I'm a mom, too, I am happy to have instilled the same faith in my own children's life and strive to continue to be an example as my mom.
   

Children Are Complete Persons As-Is

In our culture , we generally treat children as less than whole. From outside the box it appears a rather egotistical attitude on the part of adults. We behave as if children need this , that , and a good dose of other things - from us , of course - b4 we can take them seriously as we take our friends , co-workers n other adults ."A child is not in training to be a person but is one already ." Seeing children as complete allows us to respect who they are , and we know that children who live with respect learn respect .In this way we feed their subconscious with messages of acceptance and love .

It's a good idea to share this thinking outside the box with the other adults who populate your child's life.Commnicate with your child's teacher , again in a nonadversarial manner .Use that time during parents teacher meet , send an e-mail , write a letter or make a phone call .Explain you want him on your team of influential adults in your child's life who , in making his academic success a top priority n treating your child in a different manner .

Mutual respect n understanding can transform a less-than-perfect relationship with your child .Once you accept him already complete , you will find that the time and energy you spend trying to coax, help or otherwise encourage him to bcome somthing different , you can now use in a more positive way , encouraging and supporting all that he already is .

I Can Only Change Me

Who is the only person I can change ? Right - Myself. I bet you've known that for a long time . So basic , so fundamental . Here's another question for you . As you are reading this article ,who have you been picturing , thinking , "I wish they could hear this , coz they need it ?!" It happens all the time .We say , "I can only change me ," but then when asked , " who have you been thinking needs this article ?" we say "They Do!"

Have you ever tried to "fix" anybody lately? We all do it. Some of us don't think that we are trying to change people, even when we are .A director says to his team members that," m not trying to change my assistant .I'm not ! I just think that she should set more long-term goals for herself ."  Translation : "I want her to be what I want her to be ."

Others know that they are doing it , but they just want to admit it .I was talking to this lady who was the aassistant to the Chapters President  on the day of a Spelling Bee Competition who was making the final arrangements of the program. She said ," Do you know why I'm doing this ?" "Sure", I said , cautiously , wondering where this was leading . She said , she wanted to fix the president. I asked, "Why?" She kept on explaining n reasoning that she is been struggling for so long for that role n stuff .But instead of taking responsibility and dealing with the situation in a direct n honest way , she chose to fix him . The words she used always stuck in my mind .

Still others think that its their job to change people. I was visiting this man who was in his late twenties who actually said ,"I believe it's my job to change the people ---- I'm the manager . Sorry .Manager don't chnage people .They coach , counsel, train, teach and guide , but no one change another person. Change only comes from the inside, as a result of decisions made by the individual .

This is a hard lesson to learn , and even when we say we "get it" there's a big difference between understanding the idea ,"Yes i can only change myself" and honestly examining the reality of our thoughts and actions.

This was a frequently asked question to a group ," Whats that one thing you would change to improve the effectiveness of your softdrink business?" Usually they come out with the list of P's : Products, Pricing, Processes, Policies, Procedure ,Promotion n above all People .More people , fewer people , different people .But only one guy said ,"from Coke to Pepsi" . Yes , if only we'd switch the pop machine in he break room from Coke to Pepsi ."

People's minds fill with all kinds of ideas when asked what they would change to improve things .But guess what ? Nobody ever says "ME!" I would change me for the betterment of our company .Our thoughts almost always focus elsewhere first. Asking questions that begin with "What" or "How" and contain an "I" brings our focus back to ourselves.

How much better things would be if we all tried to mold and shape our own thoughts and actions rather than those of others . The bottom line is "You can change only yourself."

Being Happy with Time and Work

 Everyone needs to remember the main keys to finding happiness is to keep happy thought  and positive thinking. No matter how bad things seem it is not the problem that’s bad it is how we handle it. If you want to live a happy life confront your problems head on and don’t ignore them. There are two areas that keep people unhappy and that is , their jobs and not enough time .These are the areas I want to address in this post.

Time management is the first thing I want to write about. I have always prided myself on always being happy and time management is an area that took me only a couple of weeks to figure out. I learned how to take advantage of time by tracking it. When I became the mother the first time in my life I always noticed how I was always rushing everything I did. I always hated not having enough time. Then I said to myself , this is not going to work n I sat down I made a daily chart. This was a challenge for me to track every minute of a day. It was weird but very effective, I actually did this for two weeks. By the end of two weeks I had more time then I ever thought possible. Still today if I find myself scrambling without enough time I always fall back to this procedure. If time is a problem and you want to live a happy life, change your life. This procedure is difficult and takes a lot of commitment.

Work in today’s world is necessary in most peoples life’s. If you do not like your job, you need to change the way you look at it. You need to look at it as a stepping stone to better things. Change your life smile be happy all the time no matter what.  What is happiness in life? It is an attitude, a feeling and basically who you are. No matter how bad things get at work or anywhere else the one thing you have complete control over is the way you think. To repeat myself to live a happy life keep positive thinking and happy thoughts.

The Knowledge Explosion

"Knowledge is the eye of desire and can become the pilot of the soul."


Did you know that the rate of new information is doubling every six months ? Did you know that most of what you learn today will be obsolete in two years ?


Are you worried about how to keep up ? Are you bewildered by the information explosion at school ? at work ?at home ? Does it have you feeling worried ? stressed ? overwhelmed ?


TAKE HEART !!!! The solution to your problems and anxiety is closer than you might believe .The answer is already between your ears .


You already have the engine you need ---- your BRAIN ----to adapt and thrive in a world where you have to keep learning new things .All you need are the tools to get that engine running at higher level of efficiency than it is now .


How much room of improvement do you have ? Just think of it this way .Your mind power and learning  potential are like space.What you actually use is peanuts compared to your capacity .The unused potential is like the vasteness of unexplored space.


No matter what your present level of learning ability and achievement may be , YOU CAN DO IT BETTER !!!


I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing was to add to the sum of accurate information in myself .


It takes three things to start down :


1. Desire to be a better learner .Picking up a blog like this is a start .It shows that you want to expand your horizons.


2. Belief in yourself , your self-esteem .


3. A bottomless toolbox : Desire and self-esteem are good things , but they are useless without some ways to build on that foundation and make practical use of it .


Thomas Edison's words ,"Many of life's failures are those people who did not realize how close they are to success when they gave up ."

Power of Words

Having a Ball

It's Never Too Late to Create

I sometimes run into people who tell me that their best creative days are behind them -- that they could have accomplished great things if only they had started sooner and that they are "too old" to take on a big, hairy project.
Really?
Think again.
If you have any doubt, check this list below to get a whiff of what some extraordinary people accomplished late in life.
You may not be a Michelangelo or Stradivarius, but so what? You can still accomplish miracles. All you need to do is BEGIN .

1. Grandma Moses started painting when she was 64.

2. Michelangelo designed the dome in St. Peter's Basilica between the ages of 72-88.

3. Stradivarius fashioned his two most famous violins when he was in his early 90's.

4. Mahatma Ghandi successfully completed negotiations for Britain to grant India's independence at the age of 77.

5.Nelson Mandela was inaugerated as the President of South Africa at the age of 75.

6. Pablo Picasso produced a remarkable sereis of 347 etchings at the age of 86.

                        
All examples excerpted from The Creative Age by Gene Cohen. Great book.