Happy Birthday GOOGLE

     I’m not what you would call a qualified poet. In fact I don’t even know how you get qualifications for doing poetry stuff. Maybe you have to sit some exams with a lot of boring words and try to think up rhymes.

     Whatever. I do know that when the muse takes me… actually I don’t know what a muse is either. It’s what they say, those poet dudes – “my muse has deserted me”. I’ll Google muse later.

     Tell you what. Let’s just get the poem thing out of the way and then maybe I’ll ramble on a bit more.

     Incidentally, when I sat down to pen an ode to Google using the medium of.. why am I talking like this? It’s like - mention poetry and one has to get all high brow and la-di-da. I don’t normally say one either. Usually it would be me or I in a fake I’m your mate sort of way.

     Let’s start off with one of those poems that doesn’t rhyme. Cheating really but I’d like to save the best till last.

You are my doorway
To a world outside my house
Where naked forms enchant and
You can get coupons for groceries.

You are a name
That has become a verb
A bit like Hoover
But not like Walmart.

I don’t key search terms in using an engine
Neither do I employ a complex algorithm
When I want something from the internet

I just Google.
Sorry Bing.

Google Rhyming Poem

I have used artistic licence, quite a lot of it, to redefine words within certain poetic parameters.
That is to say, I have cheated fairly extensively.

They asked me how to rhyme with Google
I said “Easy, if you use your noogle”
So off we go, toot, toot the bugle
Aboard the Chattanooga Choogle
We’re on our way to Honaloogle
Can pay for it in Russian roogles
Or credit card from my mate Dougal
No room though for my best Bazoogle
Some dogs allowed, but not a poogle
And certainly no Winnie Poohgle
Must always tip, please don’t be frugal
Here’s one, don’t stand in a canoogle
We hear a "cock a doodle doogle"
And fields of cows all mooing moogle
Their milk is churned, it’s centrifoogle
The bull next field wants his conjoogle
They said you cannot rhyme with Google
It’s easy if you have a droogle
Or better still a doobie doogle.
Doobie Doogle

 Google rhyming was more difficult than I thought. In retrospect I should have gone for Bing but it wasn’t my first choice. Same for most people I suspect.

“How can you top that?” you say, and I modestly admit that it might be difficult.